The Avenger Olympics
by dancingonthehorizon
Summary: A discussion over the Olympic opening ceremony makes Tony feel a little left out. First Fic! T-rated because I'm not sure! All Avengers. Just for fun. Slight Pepperony and Clintasha. Enjoy x


The Avenger Olympics

**AN: So surprisingly after 7 years of complaining about it, since the opening ceremony I have become completely obsessed with the 2012 olympic games. And this idea just may me giggle. Hope you like it. This is my first fanfic so please be gentle.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Its all Marvel!**

* * *

'BRUCE! Hurry the hell up!' bellowed Stark from his prime spot on the couch in front of the tv.

'Do you want your pizza now or do you want it fed to you through a tube when The Hulk gets through with you' said Natasha jeered from the armchair. Clint, who was perched behind her, smirked.

Tony just stuck his tongue out. 'It's my building and I'll bellow at who I like.'

'I'd listen to her if I where you' said Bruce entering the room, his arm balancing a huge amount of pizza. He was followed by Pepper and Steve, both carrying beer and more snacks.

'Look, we all know the only one of us 'The Big Guy' like to punch for no reason is Thor,... and Loki but then there IS a reason for that' grinned Tony throwing his arm around Pepper as she sat down. Thor could only nod in agreement, as much as he didn't like it, it appeared to be true.

'Your existence is enough reason to punch you.' said Cap, in such a matter-of-fact tone Pepper had to take a swig of her beer to stop from laughing. Tony just shot Cap a look.

'I thought we were here to introduce our beloved demigod to a great sporting event' said Tony trying to regain some control. 'Not gang up on the host of this fine evening.'

All the Avengers had gather at Stark Tower once again. This time not because some lunatic in brightly colored, or a golden helmet was trying to take over the world. This time they were going to watch the opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic Games. Thor had never seen, or heard of, them before, and after explaining what they where he became very excited.

'I must say' began Thor 'I am greatly excited to watch these games you have told me about. How I wish I could compete to show off my strength, skill, speed, determination, and ability...'

'Modesty' whispered Clint to Natasha smiling.

'In such an honourable event' beamed the god. 'not even on Asgard did we have such a thing. The only place we could showcase such talents was on the battlefield.' Try as they might the Avengers could only smile at how excited Thor was over the games.

'I dunno Thor' say Pepper 'Some of these events are like battles. Wait till you see the look on the rowers faces. If you can find anything other than pain and suffering please point it out.' Tony and Bruce chuckled.

'Also Thor, if things havent changed since the last time I saw an Olympic Games, there is no real sport tonight. Its just the opening ceremony, they celebrate the host county and introduce all the competing nations?' he raised his eyes to the others to check this was still the case. Since he'd woken up in the 21st century he found he had to check everything he knew still applied, most of the time he found it didn't. This time however, the others nodded.

'Ahh not to worry my dear friend Captain, we know the importance of festivities on Asgard!' boomed the demigod.

'Ohhhh its staring' squealed Pepper pointing at the mammoth 80" inch TV.

* * *

All the Avengers fell silent as the opening ceremony began, only speaking to explain something to Thor or Steve. Steve was nearly moved to tear at the moment silence to remember the war fallen. Tony and Bruce, much to Cap's chagrin, stood and saluted as Sir Tim Berners-Lee appeared on-screen and Natasha and Clint dissolved into hysterics at the Mr Bean sketch. The only thing the others could get out of their laughter was something about 'A time in Barcelona' that no one understood. As the athletes began to make their way into the stadium, the group began to talk.

'The opening ceremony have changed a lot since I last saw one' commented steve. 'There so much meaning behind them now, they used to be simpler, more about the sport.' he finished, getting interested nods from the others. Except Tony

'What were the last Games you saw old sport?' asked Tony sweetly, earning himself an accusing look from Pepper.

'The 1932 games in...' Steve trailed off as Tony just raised his eyebrow. 'Point made' muttered Steve.

Both Pepper and Natasha 'Ooooo'ed' at the sight of Fiji's flag bearer. Clint and Tony shot them jealous looks that both women ignored.

'Is it just me or am I the only one who hasn't heard of half of these countries' said Tony, downing another drink.

'Its just you!' chimed Pepper, Steve, Bruce, Natasha and Clint.

'Don't worry, my armour wearing friend, I too have not heard of most of these countries.' said Thor trying to be supportive.

'You're from a different REALM, how is that fact not meant to make me worry!' exclaimed Stark as the others laughed

'Aren't you meant to be a genius' smirked Steve as pay back for Tony's comments earlier.

Clint and Natasha were now bored and discussing which of the athlete they could beat in a fight. Much to Bruce's amusement and Pepper's horror

'Him'

'Her'

'What about him'

'Oh definitely'

'I reckons she'd be a tricky one'

'What scared of a girl, Barton?' teased Natasha

'Oh how I wish Asgard could partake in theses events' interrupted Thor, before Clint could make a come back. 'The pride for their home nations and not to mention those competitors would be no match for my kinsmen and me.' He exclaimed

'That, my dear point break, is exactly why you wouldn't be allowed to compete.' chuckle Tony tipsy.

'Ok here's a question' said Pepper, sitting up. 'If there was a 'Team Avengers' like 'Team USA' or Team GB' what events would you compete in?' she asked looking around the group.

Clint and Natasha answered at exactly the same time

'Archery.'

'Gymnastics'

'Someone give them a medal' declared Tony 'for stating the absolute bloody obvious.' he clapped his hands together but stopped at the look on Pepper's face 'No? Ok... OWWW' He said rubbing his forehead where Hawkeye had just flicked a bottle cap square between his eyes, catching sight of Clint and Natasha hi-fiving.

'I dunno what I'd wanna do. Kinda difficult to compete in a sports events and keep the heart rate nice and calm' said Bruce sadly.

'What do you mean! Think of competing as The Hulk' cried Clint 'Long jump, wrestling, Oh my God!'

'Yes' answered Thor confused

Clint ignored Thor

'Weightlifting!' he shouted as his face lit up.

Steve chuckled 'You can just imagine it can't you.' He put on a sport commentators voice 'And our next competitor, Bruce Banner, little smaller than the rest of the guys in this event. He's going for the heaviest weight, I don't think he's gunna... Oh my God! **screams**'

'Yes' said Thor again, and was again ignored

Everyone, excepted Thor, roared with laughter. Even Bruce had to admit it would be pretty funny.

'My friends I am confused. If Dr Banner is to compete in a strength test, what about me? And why do you keep exclaiming to me and ignore me when I answer!' Asked Thor at his exclusion of what he thought would be his prefect event and his lack of understanding turns of phrase.

'Ah for you dear Thor, there is one event that you, and only you, could truly shine... the hammer throw!' exclaimed Natasha throwing her hands wide. She ignored his second question, it was too funny not to.

It was like telling a child they could live in Disneyland 'HAMMER THROW!' roared Thor jumping out of his seat 'HAHA, NO COULD BEST ME WITH MJOLNIR!' and with that he began to wave the hammer around.

'Whoa whoa whoa' screamed the others.

Thor finally sat down chuckling, 'Yes friends, if I were permitted, that hammer throw would be my event. And you Captain, what about you?

'Don't know. Discus?' he offered with a smirk.

'Nah' said Clint 'a super solider like you could do anything!'

'Yeah, any athletes' chimed in Natasha

'What about boxing' interjected Bruce 'You beat the crap outta those punch bags'

Eventually they agreed the pentathlon was probably best for multi-talented Steve.

'Ok' brighten up Tony 'What about me? What would I bring home the gold in?'

'Errr...'

'Well there's...'

'What about...'

Pepper suddenly became very interested in her shoes

'Oh come on!' barked Tony 'I AM IRON MAN! It can't be that hard.'

'Well actually...'

'No, don't start, come on! what about boxing? I box with Happy!' He offered

'You cheat when you box with Happy.' Pepper said flatly. 'and Natasha beat him better than you anyway.' Black widow just nodded in agreement.

'Ok, running?'

'You dont run, EVER!' Tony shrugged in agreement. 'What about swimming?' suggested Natasha.

'Don't like getting my hair wet.'

'wuss' muttered Clint, Tony shot him a look.

'Cycling?' suggested Steve.

'Have you seen him on the gym bikes? And their bolted to the floor!' chuckled Natasha.

'Equestrian?' offered Bruce weakly.

'I'm with Sherlock about the horses.'

Steve, who still had a lot of films to catch up on, looked at Pepper puzzled.

'Dangerous at both ends and crafty in the middle.' explained Pepper.

'Ok what about fencing?'

'Please, I look good in everything and even I couldn't pull off that outfit!'

Clint mouthed 'Wuss' behind his hand to Natasha.

'Canoeing?'

'Same thing with swimming.'

'You have a sail boat! What about sailing?' said Natasha, it was getting embarrassing now.

'I'm a billionaire! Of course I have a sail boat, doesn't mean I sail it! I have a kitchen too, doesn't mean I can cook.' said Tony grumpy.

'Too true' agreed Pepper, this time it was Tony's turn to shoot her a look.

'Come on guys, there must be something.' Tony begged.

Blank faces.

They went through all 304 Olympic 2012 events and still nothing fit, they had nearly settled on taekwondo but Clint had put the boot in.

'Even then you still have a magnet in your chest to keep shrapnel from stopping your heart. You won't be fit enough without the suit.' he said bluntly.

'Damn it Clint!' shouted the others.

'Fine, if that's how it is.' shouted Tony standing up. 'I guess I'm not part of 'Team Avengers'.' With that he stormed out of the room, leaving the others in silence.

'Guess I'm up' said Pepper leaving her seat and following Tony out of the room.

* * *

She found him on the balcony that over looked the city, and joined him at the railing.

'I don't want to talk about it' the billionaire muttered without looking at Pepper.

'But you so love to talk! You never shut up! You talked for 40 minutes last week about the new toaster!' teased Pepper trying to get a raise out of him.

'Yeah well it's a really cool toaster! It's got...' Tony caught himself before he let pepper win even more. Tony had never been very good at not letting Pepper win. He sighed.

'Look I know I'm not the most naturally athlete person, and I know Iron Man is more technology and physiology but I'd like to think there would be some I could contribute.'

He had this sad lost puppy dog look about him. Then he ruined it

'I shouldn't be surprised really, I was always picked last for sports. Nobody wants the kid who even beats the teachers at chess.'

'Oh dont give me that Tony' said Pepper turning on him 'Acting like your not the most arrogant, ego maniac in the world. You were the one who say no to a lot of those you're Iron Man for Christ sakes, you contribute!' Tony turned and smiled at her. 'Alright so the others have superpowers and skills more suited to sports, if you were allowed to wear the suit, you're be a greater olympian than even Michael Phelps! And...'

He cut her off with a kiss. 'You're right...' he whispered into her lips 'If I could wear the suit I'd kick all their ass!'

She playfully slapped him on arm 'Way to ruin a moment, genius!' she smiled.

Suddenly they heard the others calling them.

'Sounds like they wanna apologise.' Tony smirked

'Don't blame it all on them, you say no to a lot of the events yourself remember.' Pepper pointed out again.

'Hey excuse me if I have standards!' he replied, making Pepper roll her eyes as the walked back to the other Avengers.

* * *

They were all sat in the same places and had paused the TV.

'So are you going to apologise for making me feel stupid?' asked Stark folding his arms.

The others looked at each other but it was Steve who spoke.

'Actually no.'

Tony was about to kick off when Thor spoke up.

'Relax friend, we have found what would be your moment of glory at the Olympic Games!' Thor beamed at him while everybody else just nodded.

'Well what is it? It better be better than all of yours' he sulked.

'Oh its completely unique' said Bruce turning back to the TV. 'Clint do the honours.'

Clint hit play.

The screen burst to life with images of the Olympic stadium being lit up with thousands of fireworks, athletes where celebrating and the crowds where going nuts, suddenly the scene cut to a highlights video from the past 4 hours and the best bits of the opening ceremony played in front of them again.

'No one throws a party like Tony Stark.' said Pepper quietly.

'Who else could we get to arrange the opening ceremony' added Natasha.

Tony for his part just stood there, wide-eyed. Suddenly he turned and headed for the door.

'Hey! Where are you going?' shout Cap after him.

Tony was too busy trying to pull his phone out of his pocket to turn around.

'To get Stark Industries behind an Olympic bid!' He gave them a mischievous grin before disappearing through the door.

'Oh my Thor!' said Clint 'What the hell have we started!'

'For the love of Odin what do you... oh!' Suddenly Thor understood what turn of phrase meant!

**Fin**

* * *

**Ok so it was my first fic and I really hope it comes across as well as I want it too. Please review but please remember I'm still learning so don't be too harsh. xxx**


End file.
